17/12

as of now... i'd been blaring my ears to lots of disc-Spinning music. Tiesto, Armin Van Burren, Antoine... these are the few DJs that certainly has been the few biggest influences in my music life. Yeah i do listen to other DJs too, including Benny Benassi. And my fond of House/Electro Trance music had grown ULTRA ever since the last Zoukout on Saturday! Off the chain, seriously..! Even until now, my whole body cant stop moving bout everytime i hear these tunes from my MP3 player! Thats how much the impact was... And i swore i can never get enuff of it all, just partying all nite long.. But swear to it, i dont need my drinking habit to come into the picture anymore.. I now need lotsa Sugar Rush to thrived on!! hahahahah.. RED BULL!

Ok so, moving forward from Zoukout.. We had our gig last Sunday too, (Yeah the day after Zoukout) and it was really really awesome. Positive feedbacks and the best of experiences, that nite. So i'm shouting out to the rest who's reading this.... PLEASE COME DOWN FOR MORE [DEAR WHO AM I] GIGS!! SUPPORT US!!!!!!

AND, we do have a gig this SUnday at Kg Glam, 73 Bussorah Street. FAD Studios! 7pm onwards is our timeslot... PLEASE HEAD DOWN!!! $6 only...!

In the meantime, enjoy the background track by AVB & DJ TIESTO! =)

MY MUSIC LIFE IS A DAMN ROJAK NOW!!!!

11/12

I was browsing thru the web, and obviously you cld have guess wat I just FREAKING saw! YES, this was 4 damn long years ago (as dated in there), and it was taken after my O level exams, waiting for the damn results era. Hahaha.. And this was in school during a combined Uniform-group camp. Damn right i can still remb this one really well. We were jamming to Muse's Hysteria!

Hahahahhaha.. ok seriously that was legend! I cannot believe the web has this picture, still. Hahhah!! I want to print this out sia...

9/12 second

Btw fellas... THis is the upcoming show this 14 Dec.! Hopefully its gonna be off the charts!

73 Bussorah Street (Kampong Glam).

F.A.D Studios.

3pm Till late..

**I dont have much clue wat time is my performance but its probably 730 onwards. =)

9/12

Last Saturday's show was a bummer.. completely pathetic organising skills by the NLB. The show was fine, but only 2 bands? To make an impact on ur first organising gig, splash on media perhaps! get the ppl know bout it, and probably u'll have better response than Saturday. Crap!

But i wld still say we did good. First gig out with DWAI, i think i didnt do so bad either. We had fun, though their sound setting sucks ass! But wat the hell rite, we dont have own soundmen to perfect it up so i guess theres no point complaining bout it. We juz gotta look and sound better for next Sunday's gig then. THAT one we must be on form! Oklah geng, i'll practice more k. Hahah!

Anw, thanx Nurul, Fad & Sham for meeting up with me for dinner that nite. Then of coz, to bowling aft that. I was damn restless lah, certainly wasnt on form for that bowling game. Sheesshh! Sorry girls..

So Sunday was completely stayed home day. Too lazy to go anywhere.. Clean up, and did some refurnish to my room. No matter wat, it somehow still looks the same. Knn~! But nvm lah, at least its still clean enuff for me.

And last nite was damn hectic.. relatives coming over till late. The noise level, can really compare to my jamming sessions! That wat u get all the time when the family reunites... Oh my eardrums are bleeding.! =X

SO today i dont have much clue wat to do. I'll hop onto to any plans coming my way. Hmmm... i'm suddenly thinking of mutton chop. Wat a random thought.

5/12

Another edition of, Thank God Its Friday!(TGIF)


In today's news, I'M TOTALLY FREAKING OUT!!! Tomrw, 7+ onwards, NLB. Debut gig for me, as a DWAI member. Ok i have performed quite a few times before, but we're talking bout performing in front of loyal DWAI fans who has been established quite years back. hahaha.. Ok im adding more pressure to myself by saying that. My knees feeling the jittery effect even thinking bout it, but i hope it wld be fine at least. if not perfect start, rite?

One aim only... To have fun and dont think of wrong lyrics or different chords. Juz whack it in nicely dude! hahah..

Anw moving forward from that, i just read bout the Sony Christmas Sale! And hells, i sure wanna grab some stuffs from that. I mean, who doesnt rite..? Its Sony we're talking bout. Probably one of the best brand for electronics. Ok Syam, stop promoting them dammit! You wont get commissions. Hhahahah.

Today's payday babey~! Finally after waiting for 4 freaking delayed paydays, i have my pockets slightly fuller now. But i shldnt think of my liabilities just yet coz i need make myself happy first. Buy first, pay later...?! Who ever comes up with that, seriously cld be a genius or just a sad psychopath! Either way, i dont give a HOOT!

Ok been having these non-stop migraines since 2 nites ago. Accidentally hit my head on the wall, and it hit my nerve system at the back of my head. And it has this 'twirling' feeling up in my head since then. I dont know how to get rid of it so if anyone's reading this, HELP ME!! I cant even laugh or talk too much, or else i'll get that migraine again. Sheeessshhhh.. ! I need my head rub!! Desperately!

Hmmmm... head rub?! *
(O_o) *

3/12

Sigh... That song.


It has all the words thats meant to be said. =)

1/12

Lets start wif..... ITS FINALLY DECEMBER!!!!!! Look out 2009!!! 2008 is soon to be goner....!

But probably i havent completely done with 2008 yet. Stl got a few things to handle before the turn of the New Year. Plenty of upcoming events thats gonna happen and i'll be in the midst of everything.

First and foremost, may i announce that i'm officially a new found member of one of our local band, Dear Who Am I (DWAI)..! I'm on guitars btw. Thanks to the guys, for accepting me in and so i'll do my extreme best to make this work. =D

Yeah and we had a good session yesterday. I spent like 12 hours over at Khai's place, slackin and sessioning over the songs for our upcoming gigs. Oh yea, btw we got upcoming gigs : 6 Dec @ NLB, 14 Dec @ Kampong Glam, and 21 & 25 Dec @ places which i havent got any clue yet. hahhaha! A totally jam packed December, dude! Hmm.. this cld be my biggest break ever!

And yeah, so anw.. Caught up with Shades the other at Raffles Place. Shades was one of my best colleagues back in Brunei. Yeah, i had to show him arnd town coz he forgot how Singapore actually looked like. Cant blame him, he juz landed from Brunei bout a week ago, and stl adapting. hahah. take ur time dude.

Well anw, this week wld probably a hectic week coz of jamming sessions to get ready for the weekend show. Pls do come, to those that matters and to those who wanna catch me live in action! hahah.. NLB, Bugis.. I'll update the timeslot soon. Cheerios~!

27/11

One step closer to the weekends.... Wish it wld juz speed up alil. Hahahh. Cant tahan liao.

Btw, Welcome home Shades, Bob, Yasin, Man Sengau & Raymond! Hahahha.. I didnt know of ur home-coming till I M.J gave me the news thru FB. KNN u all! LoL.. But anw, you guys have served Brunei too long, so great to have you guys back. Looking back, that was juz another phase, so time to adapt back here dudes. And meet up for dinner or crazy, lepakz sessions! =D

Btw, eat your heart out. It ate mine. hahahha...

26/11

*yawns*


Came late today.. too tired to wake up early. Restlessness always gets the better of me, most of the time. Even now, after a longer sleep, i can barely concentrate on work. My eyes are like carrying weights for the Olympics! Damn, i'll do anything for those Water-beds now.

Btw, i got such an awesome surprise from Nurul on Monday. I didnt noe what she wanted to pass me so badly, until i went to see her and she gave me this small cool bag. But its wats inside the bag was that matters. A gift from Bali, she said. LoL! And looking at the size of the bag, i was stl wondering wat it was till i opened it up. The most nicest, Volcom Stone wallet i ever saw..! =) Really, i didnt expect you to get me anything, but i thank you the mostest for the wallet..! Most-est!! Hahaha..

And now, seems like i need to revamp myself abit, here and there. LoL! Gone wif the old, and welcome the new. At least for most things, that is. =)

Anw, went to had a short meet-up session wif Crisx, Salim, Pool and Azhar last nite at YP food place, then head down to Taka for lepaks. hahhaha.. pretty much nothing, but its juz stress-relieving whenver wif them. Juz a lil break from everything that matters. And thanx dude, for the cab-ride home. And for the tickets too. hahahha.. I'll pay u back wen the time comes. Insya Allah. For now, i need to get back to my Planning book, to calculate my budget for this mth spendings...

24/11

Monday again, and just another day whistling thru in the office and finding all the very means to kill off boredom. If there is a word to describe beyond boredom, im gonna lay it on here...!

I stayed home for the weekends... Yeah, can u believe that? The whole weekend! Except for that one Jemputan i had to attend at CCK. Other than that, Star Movies have been keeping me company all the way. Hurray for Star Movies! =)

But at least staying home gave me the chance to finish up my own demo CD, which have been in the closet for quite some time now. Damn, i reali need to work on it PRONTO! All i need is that bloody PCDrummer software. Sheeessshh~!


And a shout-out to the guys.. You better start planning the Dec trip if not, nothing will happen! I sure hell, know how slow you guys work.. I'll kick your ass then you know!

21/11

Again i wld like to start my blog, with TGIF!!!!!! Haahhah.. juz had to do that. Another weekend to look forward to. Im guessing not really filled with activities, but at least i can rest more at home. And that is just i need for now. Oh wait, probably jog too. LoL!

Nurul texted me this morning when im in the bus. She leaving for Bali for the weekends. "am leaving already. take care. " Wells, wat more cld i say.. Juz prayed for her safe journey to and fro. Hope she has fun there, and probably the big break she needs from everything. Oh wells.

Anw, last nite had a short meet up wif Iqbal anf Irfan, and their colleagues. Dinner @ Lau Pa Sat, juz chilling arnd and crap talk like normal. These guys are the few of my closest NS buddies i have, btw. Awesome bunch! Wanted to lepak longer yesterday but Irfan had to work late night shift, so to Iqbal. So i had to head home aft that. Had a comfy sleep on my magnetic therapy mattress. (yeah.. long time)..

Now i'm wondering wat to do for the weekends. Saturday kompang training. Sunday attend old neighbour's wedding. And thats it..? Hahaha.. Ok, honestly this is gonna be a slow, lame weekend! =

20/11

Juz came back from lunch.. Not reali much of a lunch lah. I didnt eat. I cldnt eat. My stomach wasnt feeling quite good today. No, it cant be wat i ate last nite, coz i didnt eat anything at all. And on top of that, been feeling restless these days. Alot of stuffs to do, and think bout. And i jogged last nite, mind you. My ankle problem seemed to haunt me back once again. Maybe because i went down the steps and landed my ankle on an awkward position. It didnt hurt at first, but it got the better of me after a while during my nite jog. So i had to rest early, also becos i wanted to watch the Friendly game between England & Germany. Well, i woke up late and manage to only catch the second half till the full time. Then off to work! Darn, i'm feeling the *yawns* now.

Sigh... nvm that. I'm thinkin wat i shld do today. My 'Kranji Camp' buddies are planning a meet up, so i'm thinking i cld join them. Shld wait for the confirmation from Iqbal now.


Speaking of NS buddies, gotta thank Khai Shuffle for that Amber Pacific song. Dude, it got stuck to my head and i'm having it on repeat mode in my mp3 player sia..! Awesome or wat!? hahahha.. Like u said, the last part of the song is the killer! =P


Wells, for now. Tmrw is Friday, their flight. Morning. Chances are, she wont call tonite, or even tmrw. Probably not for this whole week. But anw, to all of you goin, have a safe flight aight. I'll pray for the safe trip, to and fro.

19/11 2nd post

Tsk Tsk..

Why cant i have a Prom night? Yeah i know, it might stl sound cheesy and shit for the Prom night era. But hells, i have always wanna see wat it feels like to dress up suave, and all fine for the night. LoL!

Speaking of so, my lil brother is having a Prom tonight @ Royal Plaza, Scotts. Lucky ass! And he kept going arnd the house the whole night last night, trying to get opinions whether his suit wld be nice for tonight. Ok, honestly, everything he's wearing today isn't his. Most of it belongs to me and also my elder bro. Hahaha.. But then, we stl helped him out getting the "man-ly" side in him. Hopefully he wont screw up tonight. Wasted my time if he did. Break a leg bro! Not literally pls.

Hmm.. Wonder if i will ever get a chance to witness a prom ever..?

19/11

Seriously, unspokened messages are the perfect ways to create unrest and curiousity.

Exactly the way i'm feeling now. And what fruit cld bear from this situation? Then again, you just gotta turn to signs arnd you for answers.

Hmmm.. If only that was simple enough.

18th Nov.

Work begins to stink.. Just that phase where doing the same thing over and over again, isnt really the same feeling anymore. And its getting reali tiring, that it makes u sick of anything at all. Damn restless, all i can sum up. Shit! I wish i have a car right now, so i juz hop in it and whiz arnd to wherever i wish to go. But at the moment, anywhere else juz sounds fine. Problem is, i got no freaking car. Sheeeshh...

Its NOVEMBER alrdy, and i seriously think the days juz keep passing by in a blink of the eye. Looking at the damn calendar, i'm thinking how long more i have to work here. Not saying that the facilities and pay isnt good. Just that its energy-draining when u have to wait for things to happen. Sigh. But i stl gotta work, to save up for school enrolment. Come to think bout it, i'm scheduling myself to start next coming February but my mind's like not prepared at all. I need to alter my braincells abit, get into the study groove once again. I know, that this time arnd, i have to get thru my education phase. I SO DAMN NEED IT! I lost out so much to everyone, just because i had to be some place else than here, a year ago. And right now, i think its my time to catch up, real quick. I dont care how i do it, i juz have to! Thats my main aim for 2009! I'm planning early, so deal with it aight....!

Speaking of 2009, looks like its gonna be a pretty busy, busy start for me. January, my cuz in Melaka getting married during the CNY holidays. So expect another kecoh2 family/relative trip back to Kampong for that long weekend. And yeah, driving there again too. Then come February, we are set on HK for a getaway. Better make sure its finalise so that i can put aside my expenses for that trip, on top of my school fees. Ummar(my cuz), might be joining so lets make it a happening start for him, and ourselves for the new year aight.. I also might be expecting my NS guys to be planning a trip for ourselves too, but that one remains to be confirm yet. (And hells no, i still wont drop the idea of heading to New Zealand).. Insya allah, by next year or by 2010. Thats part of my life's aim! And i will persevere to make it happen too.

Hmmm.. i almost forgot that Zoukout is right arnd the corner! If i go, it wld be my very first time going to an event as big as this. So, looks like i might be heading down there this year ppl. And for the record, this will be my BIG break. LoL! 13 Dec, here we go...!

Oh wait, i almost forgot... my lil bro's birthday is coming up real soon. Hmm, ok i seriously dont know wat to get him this time arnd. I missed his birthday last year so... maybe i'll think of something he had never seen/heard/done/gotten before... hahah.. I cant really make up my mind now, but i will, soon. Hopefully.

the past 15th weekend.

My weekends went absolutely well. Pretty much alot of last minute situations but, hells, its stl worth its weight in gold. =)

Saturday, 15 th.
Went out wif Mumz, sis & my lil bro to Bugis J. Some random shopping for my relatives birthday gifts. Quite fun, goin out wif the famz once in a while. And aft all that, we stl had Seoul Garden to enjoy our dinner to. Its been a while, and its all damn well spent till the very last bite. hahah! Which thereafter, i head down to Khai Shuffle's gig at Music Garage. I cldnt find anyone to go wif me, so i thought i juz head down there myself coz i promised him i'll come down. I wont let down a Bro's promise, dude. But anw, even thru the fuzzy noises and ur 'string-snapped' incident, hahah! U guys put on an awesome show nonetheless.. Kudos dude!


So coincidentally, i got a call from Nurul just as i was bout to leave the gig. Well, she asked me to join them at the chalet since there wasnt alot of people. And she even mention goin nite-cycling. Damn! i missed cycling so much, i juz cldnt say NO! hahhaha.. in fact, i cldnt say No to any idea of hers at all. LoL! Got a lil lost finding the chalet at Pasir Ris, but was greeted by her at the door. Very happy to see her, and everything went quite fun there onwards. The nite cycling to Changi cld have been worst but luckily we all had fun there and back. THough all came back with either leg soreness or butt aches. hahah... i came back wif ears pain from the ranting. =P

Btw, sorry to Fad if i snored during my sleep. U can tell i was very tired. heheh. But nevertheless, after returning the rental bikes back, we really had a good KFC Brunch. And many thanks to you all for having me over. Really. Dunt noe wat i'll be doin for that Sat nite at home.. LoL!

over the weekends..

Ok yes, i havent been blogging lately. Not as regular, bcoz i never was a regular blogger in the first place anw. Sigh. Look at all the cobwebs arnd my blog. SHeessshhh! I swear i have to make changes oreadi man..



Cut to the chase, shall we? =P



Celebrated Nora's birthday last friday. Seriously it was quite a last minute planning, that it went pretty well for a spontaneous Birthday! Hahah.. we always do that. And thanx to the peeps who amde it possible, (Norman, Abg Khairie, Qie, Nurul & Myself). Anw, really awesome and crazy dinner @ Sakae Sushi Marina Sq. We juz cldnt stop laughing all thru-out, but nonetheless we reali did finish off the food. Next time must try sealing the RED plates huh. LoL!


Aft dinner, Nora, Nurul and me went up to the GV counter to get our 11pm show of Madagascar2. Well, was almost out of seats but we manage to get the ones not so close to the screen. Then aft getting the tickets, we went to play Arcade, Bishi Bashi! For the first freaking time, we finished off the game. Absolutely insane playing that wif both of them, but always a cracker! hahahah...



So b4 the show started, we went to have our early supper @ Makansutra. Didnt really eat, but juz get drinks and BBQ wings to kill the time. And i realised its been fun hanging out wif Norman and Abg Khairie again. Not forgetting, all of us are just having the nite of our lives. And so went head up to catch the show aft that.. Hahah! Seriously lepak show lah! King Julien... was just the headliner of the show, and irritating Penguins just sums it all up, the 4 star show! lol... It still lacks more jokes, but definitely a MUST watch.. hahah..!



Overall, we obviously had a blast that nite. I wld say we cld do that again, but only when all are free lor. hahah!

Avenged Sevenfold!

SingaporeMax Pavilion
October 24, 2008

Written by Fiona Chua

"All the king's horses and all the king's men…"

Well, they could focus on putting Humpty Dumpty back together again because we don't need their help for the barricades this time round. Yes! The band known to cause the infamous barricade breakage at 2007's Singfest have found their way back to our hardcore shores. Californian metal band - Avenged Sevenfold(A7X), has landed in Singapore once again. This time round, to perform for their own headlining show and to a slightly tamer crowd.

Like a true rock concert, there was a good hour's wait before the band appeared on stage from the slated time. Fans however, did not have to wait till then for some action. The queue started forming as early as the night before. By the time the doors opened, the agitated crowd created quite a ruckus during the routine bag check at the entrance.

All the waiting paid off the moment the lights went down and the first 2 chords were struck by lead guitarist, Synyster Gates. The energy level among the audience shot through the roof and continued to escalate as the rest of the band followed suit with M Shadow's commanding vocals leading them to a state of insane moshing with "Critical Acclaim," from their 2007 album, Avenged Sevenfold.

A7X kept true to their music, launching into one song after another with only short introductions and quick chats in between their set. Not that anyone minded though. The rambunctious music and Synyster Gates' lightning fast fingers on the fret board in particular, were the main attractions for the night. When Syn launched into his own solo bit, the crowd's adulation was unstoppable; the ladies stared in adoration while the dudes worshipped him. Heavy music aside, the band had a quick and fun interlude, when rhythm guitarist, Zacky V, bassist Johnny, drummer The Rev and Syn jamming together to play an impromptu mix called "Quack Quack," which sounded pretty much like how it was titled!

And as all rock concerts would have it, there was "The Light Up" (The 'My cellphone's LCD screen is bigger and brighter than yours') moment, when the ever popular soft power ballad "Seize The Day" from their second album, City of Evil came on. I screamed my lungs out till my tonsils started hurting for this particular number.
But as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. And it did, with the band playing their last song for the night, "Little Piece Of Heaven." This was quite a surprise ending as majority of the crowd were expecting them to end the night off on a high, heartfelt note with their current hit single, "Dear God." Especially since they've played every single they've recently released in their repertoire.

The concert no doubt, was a success. But if it had an added pinch of magic ala Singfest 2007, it would've gone down as being the perfect concert for 2008.

Setlist:
Critical Acclaim
Afterlife
Beast and the Harlot
Scream
Seize The Day
Unholy Confessions
Bat Country
Gunslinger
Almost Easy
Little Piece Of Heaven

Oh hells, fellow DeathBats! We were there.......!

AVENGED SEVEN 'FUCKIN' FOLD!!

problems...

Problems, problems and much more problems!

As if my personal issues are just not enough, work issues has to step in. When i'm in a midst of figuring out what's wrong with my life, it has to cock-up yet again. Emails after emails, they are after my freaking neck! I swear I'll turn this around. SWEAR!

Argh hells! I shldn't waste my time thinking bout it. I should be looking to tomorrow!! Friday 24th October, people! Avenged Sevenfold LIVE @ Max Pavillion, EXXXPO!! This is totally the 'shit' here! None else better than this... At least, i hope, its much better than the first time they stepped foot here @ Fort Canning! For what I know now, my camera will have tons of work to do tomorrow, and so does my throat!

And in case for those who share the same excitement as I do, I'll arrange some suicidal lessons with Achmed, for you! Cheers! =)

8th Oct..

Woke up today with a bad headache, probably from the bad dream i had last night. It was almost the same feeling I had during the accident not too long ago. Dejavu. I could almost feel the impact of the crash, and the sight of the car and our dumbstruck faces all once again. Sigh.

I learnt a totally painful lesson from this. That everyone in this world is vulnerable to anything, anytime and anywhere. And when it happens, you bear your own consequences, no matter at what cost it may be. My life changed instantly from the news last night. It is as though as I am left with no other way out of this sticky situation. Fate has taken its toll.

For now, I am thankful and grateful with what i possessed, and I want to leave it that way.

weekends...

Anw, earlier was juz a joy moment... Wells as for now, i'll update u on wats been happening these past few 'Ups & Downs' days..~!

Saturday 27th!
Oh yes, Saturday went amazingly good, except for the fact that i got into a lil minor accident. I'll share later on. But the whole day was bout someone's Special Day, which is Nurul Ain Yazid's 22nd Birthday! As far i was concerned, it was supposed to be such a much more happening birthday event, then the F1 qualifying race tat day. But apparently, THANKS A MILLION to those who decided to ditched last very second. Give me credits for my planning for once lor! Haiyah nvm lah, not really important. But i wld rather extend my deepest gratitude to those who came and made it a memorable one for Nurul! =)

Apparently, u really look stunning that day Babe. You made me looked my best wear, seems rather under-dressed. Hahah.. Even ppl kept saying they are jealous of your look. Seriously. =) Wells, i cant blame them though. So anw, aft the Surprise dinner at RiceTable, (5 Stars dishes and ambience), Nora, Qie, Abg Khairie, Norman, Nurul and Me decided to go Party World KTV to enjoy our remainder of the day! Extremely fun just screaming our lungs out eh.. hahahha. Dragged out all the way from 10 till 2 am that nite. Fuh! But no regrets for the entertainment, and all that for that special person on that special day! Btw Nurul, i know it wasnt such a BANG! birthday, but i hope that song that i wrote and sang to you personally had sums up everything!

Sunday 28th!
Ok lets talk bout the accident i had the nite b4. Got into a lil car accident on Saturday nite arnd Far East Plaza area. Not such a major accident, but quite a freakin memorable one. Damn long story but to cut it short, im bearing the cost for both the damages to each car but the other Malay driver was an understanding and compromising guy. So because of that, i spent half a day on Sunday to my cuz's workshop trying to figure out bout the car and the claims and stuffs.. Hassle abiz lah! This is one freaking painful accident to my wallet, Shheessshhh!! Well evertually reports have been made so juz have to wait till the whole outcome comes before my eyes. Lets just hope and pray that its quite a minimum sum. Well aft taht, i spent the rest of the day at home, helping out on the ketupat and my messy room. THen watch F1 race day thru the set at home, which kicked-ass btw, then aft that continue to finish up the work at home again. hahaha... boring Sunday!

Babe, BESOK Raya, Babe!
Gerek!
Babe, Raya, Babe!
Power!
Babe, Raya, Babe!

Gempak!
Babe, Raya, Babe!
Brutal!
Babe, Raya, Babe!

Enjoy!
Babe, Raya, Babe!
FUYOH!
Babe, BESOK Raya, Babe!
nak duit bleh tak....?

,,\/. (Oo,) .\/,,

its been long gone...

well yes, apparently it has been quite a while i didn't update this dang blog. Not because i don't wanna, but i cldn't really. My lappy at home let me down eventually, and my lappy at work hates blogger. It always played with my darn feelings, this crazy server. I think Nurul felt that last nite too. Sorie babe.. Just no luck. Frust all over. hahhahah!!

Anw, i discovered something freaky this morning.. Like a lil feeling of dejavu. Every morning when i boarded the 168 bus from the Reservoir bus stop, there's always this cool dude who boarded the bus with me, but will always take up the 4th seat from the back row, on the right sided window. Without fail. When i mean cool, i mean well-dressed casually. Ok anw, apparently today was a drenching wet day and the bus was quite full. So turns out, he sat beside me at my usual seat. The weird thing is, with all his drenched dress-code, and squishy sound from his flips and taking a seat beside me, it seems like i saw the same thingy playing in my head last nite. Totally, it was creepy. And to make the morning even creepier, Class 95 played same ol' tunes to what i've heard before. And i kept thinking whether today really happen or was it just me who's losing my mind. Hahahahha.. Nah, perhaps it was dejavu but the morning stupidity feeling kicks in.

So anw, TGI-F1!! Haha.. The RACE DAY is finally here Lads! Head downtown with your plugs and binos, and get ready to be blown away with the zooming and screeching all around. But its just a shame i won't be there to watch it, 'cause the comfort of my sofa at home seems to be the best place to be. Yeah Yeah, you guys are just gonna be saying the same thing: "But its the best LIVE!" Wells, it is true, but i wldnt wanna share the best view with a smelly stampede. Haha..! Though i was never a great F1 fan, i somehow support these hyped we are doing for it. The thought of having such a massive attraction down here in Singapore, just gets your balls tingle. Ain't it?

Ok whats with the loud, Holy-Christian songs back there you sickening bitch!? (Refering to the lady sitting nearby my work-station).. I know you're religious and such but are you trying to convert us all here into Christians too?! God! I have mine so i'm happy. So the least you can do is respect others in the office too please.. If you really need to, go to Church then. No offence, i'm not even discriminating. Just slapping some harsh senses to you! KEEP IT DOWN!

Hmm.. wells good news is, tomorrow will be something to really remember by. I hope for it to happen though. It's your day tomorrow Babe! So smile! =)

[No Cheap Slogans, Just Pure Loving Music]

TGIF~!

To believe that Love exists,

Is to give Love a chance.

start of september..

Oreadi its the 2nd day of Ramadhan. Things have been goin well for me recently. Im planning to go the full 30 days tis year arnd, coz last years' wasnt reali in my favor. Lets not proceed to that anw.

Lets juz go back to last Saturday.. Yes, i had the car finally, and went to drive my famz to jemputan at CCK. My distance cuzzie got married, and it came to realise that i havent seen her for ages since i was only in pri school. The reason; its too complicated lor.. hahah. It will never ends if i share. =) But it was reali nice to see her again, and shes happily married now. I tink i ever saw her husband sumwhere.. Jgn2 jual anggur tak? =P (Joking, cuz..)

Went out wif Salim, An(Mok), and the rest during the nite for supper and lepak'ing. Didnt bother to stay out too late coz of the next day. (See Post Below)


Sunday! Its Vert-Marathon day for Keppel~! And yes, i went.. Not to compete, HELLS NO! Hahaaha.. but to cheer on Keys, and the MAIN reason why im there, Nurul Ain Yazid~! I am reali reali damn proud of both of you for making it thru again this year, esp to Nurul. D, i tink u reali did put so much hard-work and dedication thru-out all ur tournaments tis year, and also for the Vert-Marathon. U deserved much more than juz a credit and a pat on the back. Thru the painful barriers, u stl kept pushing on. And that to me, u reali deserved to be the MVP! Seriously, u are an MVP in my eyes. But even so u didnt win it tis time arnd, im very sure ur gonna work ur way there next year. And im counting on it too. =)

Well we went out to eat aft that, but not b4 i went to take the car. Then we drove all the to town, expecting to eat at Village, but somehow the Heeren basement was closed so we cldnt reali decide where to eat, until Nurul mention Esteller. Since i havent eaten Indo food for quite some time, i agreed lor. Hahahha.. Then wen we entered Cineleisure, they were having the Best Damn dance comp, wich i didnt reali bother watching coz i knew SFB will sweep it off. hahahah! And i was damn rite! TOo bad u other suckers, ur juz not tat good yet.. LoL! Esp to the girl who fell trying to do the cheerleader thingy; i saw the effort, but juz dunt die in front of me. hahah.

Hmm.. aft the Esteller meal, me and Nurul caught up wif Keys and her Mr Z.. hahha.. Cant believe u guys took such a long time to spot us outside the shop. And thanx to D, i cant stop thinking of (Mr. Well Hung).. LOL! Tat was a cracker...! Wells, i tink mine is. *grins*
And then aft that, the TAKA chilling session. Reminds me of all the times we both spent most of our time there in the past. But it was great nonetheless, doin nothing most of the time. And the joking sessions are always the memorable ones beb! LoL... SHakespear?! hahhahha.. Crazziez~~!
But tat was reali fun, and we shld hang out again sumtime, the 4 of us. hahah..

That night dinner, we had Indo food again.. Nasi Ayam Penyet tis time. hahah.. dunt noe why but we will never get sick of it at all. Walau mcm mane pedas pun, i took it in. *punch air*. And D, the lil talk during dinner was a good one, i must say. =)
Oh yes, it was bowling aft that.. Hahaha.. I improved myself, but im sorie Dear.. perhaps its not ur day i guess.. the balls juz wunt go straight. hehehe.. But we'll have rematch until u puas k. ANd it can also train for ur bowling next year too.. ;)

Wells we met Yaya, Sham and Fizah aft the game. Headed to YPark to eat coz the working Sham is hungry. So everyone got their food, but i got bird wastes all over the car..! They pisses me off real bad, but i wld rather get outta that place fast than being attacked again. hahhahhah.
From there, i sent the girls back home first b4 sending Sham last, back to the airport for his duty.


It was reali quite a day that day.. It was sumting i reali missed such a long time. And juz by being wif u, Dear, it gets better by the minute. =)

wat a monday..

feeling kinda 'light-headed' today.. literally. the feeling came tis morning ever since i got outta bed. And its been suckier by the minute. cldnt reali find the mood to work today, but somehow im in the office now wif tis pile of workload. and this blur visions are reali not helping me get thru the day.

Wells the weekend somehow was a much needed break for me. Batam wif the famz, juz wandering arnd, cldnt reali ask for much more. Had seafood and stuffs, but didnt reali do lotsa shopping though. And my lil bro cant stop bugging me bout the Olympics. SHeessSShh~!

Gonna be another bz, bz, and more bz week.. And yes, i am a workaholic, Nurul! =P

ANd now i gotta go back to work..

its finally here.. the official license to drive. LoL! aft nearly 2 years of freakin effort, i'd succesfully obtained it wif flying colors! hahah..

Went to Kaki Bukit camp tis early morning to get my application form for Class 3 conversion. Then aft wich i had to make the schlong journey to SSDC to claim a lil stupid slip of paper, wich of coz is my temp license to drive b4 they post me the card though. JIMBRENG btul uh!

but nvm, at least the most impt part is tat i got wat i wanted hahahah.. yes, it is free license, but damned, i had to put alot of blood, sweat and tears juz to work for it aight. And not to mention thru unfavourable conditions as well man... *relieved sigh*

now at work, nothing to do.. so i tink im gonna play 9-ball first b4 work resumes.. LoL! Thats wat im being paid for too u noe..

updates lah..

the week is coming to a close.. FINALLY! Hell of a week lah. stl have to endure today and the half of tmrw.. Tsk Tsk Tsk~!

Had been working extra long hours since Monday, to cover up for tmrws' hours. Cause we all noe wats tmrw rite?! Muahahha! The LICENSE to Kill! So i'll be taking a half day off in the morning to retrieve my license at SSDC. Wich aft tat, i'll come to work by lunch. LoL! I need to work too u noe.. Cld have easily taken the long weekend break but im a workaholic! =P

Well, like i said, been working OT since Monday.. but its stl damn worth the OT pay hahahah... Dinner at Causeway Point aft work everyday, but everytime we ended up eating fast food all the time. Gentlemen, i tink we shld stop tis habit! LoL..

So yeah.. anw Salim invited me to head down to MOS tmr for some function. But from the looks of it, i might not go even though i wanted to. Saturday goin Batam beb, so i need the rest and stay afresh! Sorie man.. =) And im gonna have to miss the Suntec Dance semis too.. Shoot! Update me on tat pplz~! Hahahha...

"I am Titan, I am strong... No one wants to sing along~!"

the slightest reasons..

another freaking boring weekend.. Great! Its juz so not me, ppl...!
i guess things have been too diff for me lately, i juz hadnt break outta my shell yet.
Maybe i will..? Maybe not now..? yet? Not ever..? I dunt have a damn clue. Pffftt!
"Live high, live mighty.. Live righteously.."
Mraz is always right with his words man..

Well anw, i'd been hoping to clear my head these days, and its never easy.
You cant juz, CLEAR ur head, not without killing urself in the process..
I dunt noe bout others, but im taking loads of time to do so. Deep scars.

Hmm.. to start off. i went to Suntec Dance ystday. Damn.. I reali miss all those sick moves man. For bloody 10 mths or so, i hadnt been getting the chance to watch them bust 'em moves! Totally smooth, all 'em crews. Met C.A. there, also Mahadhir and some old buddies of mine. Everything was pleasant ystday uh. Then aft taht, i actuali went to Explanade and guess wat i heard. LIVE MUSIC! LoL!! How i missed them so so very much all these times..! Its like back in heaven again. Kudos to all the groovy performers, and also John Molina! Yes.. The guy who indirectly inspires me to pursue my singing dreams wif his voice. Hahahha! Master! Gotta do tat often though. LIVE Music is juz me. I missed doin those. Sigh.. Actuali, i miss goin to Esplanade wif her, juz chillin, and listening to 'em performances, no matter how sucky they can be sumtimes. But its all good.. Its quite different ystday without her arnd. Maybe its the fact that wen im wif her, is wat makes it truly magical. It truly is.

Well, Monday blues today.. and the pile of workload on the desk. LoL! Another day in hell i guess. Working late again as per normal. Gotta work lotsa hours till Thursday coz i wunt be coming to work on Friday! Its License Collection day babey~!!! Muahahhahha...! Finally..!
Have been waiting for this moment a hell of a long time. For now, tats gonna be the one thing im looking forward to, tis week. This weekend, Batam wif famz.. A lil family outing aft a balls time, perhaps its about time lah actuali..

Oklah need to get back to work now. Too many shitload! Later..~!

hey yeah..

have u ever been living a lie?

Simple Steps:
Go away for awhile,

Leave the door ajar,

And then watch helplessly as ur life flashes by.

AND pretend its gonna be alright again..

this week..

Juicy news..?

Not reali.. the week went passed without me knowing. Kinda preoccupied wif lotsa stuff nowadays. Working is taking almost part of my life eveyday. Since Monday, i had been goin work xtra early then leave extra late! LoL! Nak carik rezekit kan.. And im expecting it the moment i signed tat contract.

Well anw, im taking things slowly nowadays. Hmm, she came back Tuesday morning and i was very much glad she arrived back safely. Been wanting to meet up wif her for dinner these couple of days, but shes always wif plans and such. Sigh. I miss her though.

So yeah.. i finally met up wif my old NS buddies again last nite @ Arab St. Juz 4 of us: Salim, Iqbal, Shidi and myself talking crap all thru the nite till bout 10+. All working man now, so must go back early beb. LoL! Went back, straight to bed.

Hmm.. im expecting another hectic day today at work. Though its the skool holidays, and the skool seems too empty, i can never get a break from this yet. Hahaha.. GG! (inside joke..)
I wanna eat out today... hopefully.

weekends..

havent been doin much updatings lately.. Almost nothing to update on actuali, but here's wat happened lately;

Thurs, 07 Aug.
Finally holding a job to occupy myself during the weekdays @ RP. Started last Thursday and its gonna take me till Oct end. Though it might be a temp job for 3 mths, i stl take it damn seriously. Reasonable pay for reasonable work. Juz sumting to kickstart my working life officially now. No more spoonfeeding man! A man's gotta do what a Man's gotta do....

Friday, 08 Aug.
Woke up very early in the morning to bid her a safe trip to Bali tat day. She'd been looking forward to the trip since ages, and finally shes there. Despite the issue, wich im sorry i cldnt be of any assitance, i reali reali hope shes enjoying herself there and feel better wen she comes back. Safe journey back, Nurul.
Well, other than tat, work was fine for the 2nd day. Getting more used to the things there so i tink i shdnt have any problem adapting. I never do have issues wif adapting. =) Seriously!

Saturday, 09 Aug.
Happy National Day, Lion City! Sorie i didnt get u a gift, but we pay taxes dont we? =P
I stayed home to watch TV the whole day (someting i missed doin for a long time!) and juz took the opportunity to rest at home. Too lazy to go out coz i noe its a massive packed day. PHEW!

Sunday, 10 Aug.
Bumming day! =)

another thing..

giving up is never an ally
that sums up wat u expect me to do.

but whatever we'd been thru in the past,

plz never think less of me.

dejected..

ORD'ed yesterday..

Got a Job today..

Working man tmrw..

Supposed to be overjoy..

But numb.

the door is slammed shut..
'DO NOT DISTURB' hangs by the knob.
shall i knock, or juz turn and walk away..
im still standing at the doorstep looking at the floor
thinking if i shld juz wait..
till the door finally open.

Love Led Me To You

Such a cold morning greeted me

Such a lonely evening i'd been through

Last night..

I had been feeling all so down

When I realise you're not around

I cried..

Its tough to go on

Without you by my side

When I need you the most to

Take away this pain inside

Everynight i see your face

You came to me in my dreams

I miss you so...

How much more can i endure

Being without you i juz cant

I closed my eyes and pray
That you'll be back here someday
Back here with me,
With me once again..

confuse..

somehow, someway..

my excitement and anxiousness is being overshadowed by confusion.

As much as im trying to shake it off, it seems stuck on me. I juz need an explaination somewhere from someone or anyone..

But fact is, im not prepared to hear it yet. Not wen it cld turn either way. My mind is off-balanced now, so i tink its best i focus on one single thing at a time.

And it have to start at Singfest!

Nothing else...

Singfest!

what a week...

Been quite a good week...

Sunday 27th
I got Punk'd! LoL! Never saw something like tat coming to me.. Was juz supposed to be a friendly date, turns out to a homecoming-cum-belated b'day surprise by the Siloso Beach! Reali, tat was something. But the highlight of the day have to be the Luge rides tat nite! Totally having fun, juz the 7 of us there. Thanx a million ya guyz, esp to my dearest Nurul. =)

Monday 28th
Didnt do much tat day.. Juz went to babysit dear coz shes on MC. Accompanied her @ home till she has to go out and meet her relatives. LoL! I cant believe i havent watch Art of the Devil b4. Not on sequel of it. But since u said it was awesomely gross, im not gonna miss it again. HAVE TO WAAATCH!!!

Tuesday 29th
Head down to P.S. to catch up wif Shamil. Applying for some guitar classes bro? Hahahah.. I swear who looks like a freaking girl wif those long hair. But then its not the first time others commented tat to him. SOrie dude!
Anw headed straight to JW aft tat to watch some soccer training. Reali, never play wif Myanmar guys... They'll play without remorse. And if u happen to be the keeper wen they shoot, time to Pray hard to GOD he stl wants u alive man. LoL! For the girls' team, need more collaboration wif each other. CEH!

Wednesday 30th
Went to dad's school. Dont ask. Juz to finish off some stupid document. =)

Thursday 31th
Again, went down to watch soccer training at JW. Well i can safely say that they are ready for the Sunday tourney. Esp the girls team coz they are reali putting tremendous effort to work as a team. Proud of them, and reali proud of my Nurul too. Stevie-G lah kirekan.. =P
I wish u guys the best for the tourney, and go KICK, KILL!!!!!

things happening..

It has been 3 days since i got back, i havent fully set myself arnd yet. Probably bcoz i stl think bout Brunei. Honestly it has become a part of me too, but cant decide whether good or bad. Rite now, i juz wanna concentrate my heart and mind rite here!

23rd:

I got back home bout 3-4pm. Totally knocked out but manage to be online and basically do nothing but stare at it. Hahha.. Fell aslp sometimes on the keyboards, but luckily i didnt drool on it or else..! LoL! And tat pretty much sums up that day itself.

24th:

I went back camp to do my FFI. It took only bout a couple of hours then went straight home, cant reali figure out wat to do. Waste of time tat FFI! Stared at the lappz again, till she called me out to meet for movies. Well i was sure hell were excited to finally see her in person, moreover spent the rest of the day wif her. So we met, then had a long walk to M.Sq where we book Dark Knight and had a good dinner. Dinner was great actuali, but Dark Knight reali sums up the AWESOMENESS of the nite! Full of Brilliance.. Aft tat show, i sent her home, and went back aft that to call it a 'nite'.

And b4 i forget to mention, i reali hope she likes the gifts i presented to her. (Romantic tak..?) =P

25th:

Caught up wif Salim, Mok and the rest of the awesome guys! Reali, they are reali something man.. Had a great nite ystrday, thankz dudes! And basically, that was the only event that took place. LoL! Sad rite...

26th:

Well originally i wanted to catch up wif her for the day aft her work and all. But due to some unfortunate turn of events, we didnt meet. But it was all right. She had to took care of sumting, wich i stl feel terribly bad for trying to force her out wif me. Sorie Aru.. I didnt mean to sound selfish. I respect what u stand for aight.

Well, i juz went ahead to Suntec to watch my great pal, Shamil, perform for the HeritageFest thingy. The performance was short man, but the waiting killed almost everyone! Hahaahha.. Sorie Bro..! Then he had to run to do another show @ Khatib. Wich means i had to leave straight home, wich i did and here now typing. And that pretty much sums up everyting till today. All im trying to do is pick up from where i left it and smile! =)

Sigh. But actuali, deep inside, im feeling down.

If only ppl cld tell, huh..

im back!!!

Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey..!

Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho HoHo!!!

I'M BACK AND COOLER THAN EVAAAA!!!!

LOOK OUT WORLD! I'M HITTING TO THE STORES NEAR...
YOU!!!!

amberPac

I know it's not enough to say I'm wrong

You know that I will miss you now you're gone

I know it's not your life to see this through

Just know that in my heart, it beats for you

So leave a little note for me behind

I swear I have to know the reasons why

This won't survive

But if you fall back into my life

I'd spend every night waking up to the beat I hear inside

Telling me to be your only one

But if you fall back into my life

I promise you I would never let another day just pass us by

I could never leave this world undone

I want to be your only one..

And now it's not the same with you away

Just holding onto hope to save my days

I won't survive

So just stay with me tonight, and try

But if you fall back into my life

I'd spend every night waking up to the beat I hear inside

Telling me to be your only one

But if you fall back into my life

I promise you I would never let another day just pass us by

I could never leave this war unsung

I want to be your only one..

But if you fall back into my life

I'd spend every night waking up to the beat I hear inside

Telling me to be your only one

But if you fall back into my life

I promise you I would never let another day just pass us by

I could never leave this world undone

I could never leave this war unsung

I want to be your only one..

Courtesy of Amber Pacific.

sighing..

Hell of a day yesterday was. A total disastorous day. TOo many turns of unfortunate events, so many bad news to adapt to. Its juz freakin stressful and depressive for me to take. And juz got to noe Dad was warded into hospital a few days ago but thank God he's orite. Was discharged earlier tis morning.

Woke up tis morning wif a fever and totally bad headache. Luckily got the day off from work which i solemnly need. So took the time off to update things online. This is my big break aft a long time.

But somethings missing. I'd been feeling depressed and empty, and even incomplete for sometime now. Its too hard for me to tink of wat it is. But i noe i dunt want tis. Perhaps im bothered, tat i worry or think too much but HECK! Its alot to bear and it wont juz slipped away as though nothing will happen. Someone else will bound to see the clearer pict as wat im seeing.

Im not asking too much.

i want to tell her..


BUT i cant seem to find the words!


It juz wunt come out from my mouth.


GOD, i dunt wanna lose her again!

...well.

damn.. its been a mth since i actuali updated tis tings. too many things happened thru tis process. but i dunt reali noe where to start. lol.. (its always the same thing)

well anw, i juz got a chest x-ray the other day at the hospital. Nothing serious, juz a sore. it went way back from a lil accident 3 weeks ago while playing soccer. Got knee-capped to the ribcage/chest area. cldnt breathe for 2-3 seconds then got evact to the Med-ctr. But im orite now, the x-ray films showed no signs of trouble. juz need to endure the sore abit more there.

hmm.. yeah and the back-to-back training frames started. its gotta be a hectic mth. lotsa shitload coming up.. oh and yeah, an old fren's here.. but i still havent met up wif him to chat. probably soon b4 he goes back home.

btw.. got news tat my tour will end slightly later coz my replacement got delayed. dunt noe the exact date yet. but i have a hunch i might be spending my b'day here. sigh... and lol!

wey...

it has been a week oreadi since i landed back here.. quite hectic week i wld say. Havent got a full day of break/rest yet. but hey, tats working life as a damn pathetic soldier in BD.

Anw tis past few days, i cldnt get much peaceful sleep.. Maybe its the wind. LoL!

Oh yeah btw.........

You're looking at the runner-up of Lakiun's BachelorS: Mr Hot & Sexy!! (as voted by our fellow lakiunians!)

And of coz i got a very emotional yet memorable award. The Most Inspirational award.
I was very very honoured to have received it coz its a specially rare award to be handed to perm staffs. And u cant hardly guess wat its for......

Coz i quit smoking. Yes! Quit smoking. =)

Ok im proudly boasting it but cant help it guys... It juz shows tat every lil effort put in, counts as the biggest effort for others to behold.

Cool eh!

its tat time..

2 weeks passed.. juz like a speeding car.

An hour to go b4 i have to leave for the airport. I'd never felt so alone. So bored. So very shitty feeling! I dont wish to go back, but i have to. Its like.. wat im yearning for, isnt complete yet but then my time ran out.

I had a great 2wks break, but its not enuff. Yeah they always say nothing is enuff. Sigh.... I'll do anything to see her rite now. I noe tat wld reali help ease my mind. But she cant.

im juz looking forward to my return again.

and at that time, i wanna start over everything. Refresh my life, my studies, my career too. But not b4 i do THAT one thing i need to do.

Waiting for that Fallen-Star~!

14march..

juz wen things look to fall into place again, i juz had to break them all over again.. why Syam!? u idiot... damn! i screw almost everything up, and wats worst, juz wen im bout to go back Brunei for another shitty 3 mths! im guilty!! i cant even tink of other things except the fact tat i broke her trust... and i will never forgive myself for doin tat!

Juz for once, will someone juz beat the senses out of me..! Stop me from breaking her heart. I don't wanna lose her, not again.

3yrs!

She juz recovered from her illness today. Got warded in ystrday and today she was discharged @ noon. it cld have been better, but it cld be alot worst too.. but luckily shes fine now, all safe and soundly aslp at home at tis time.

its actuali our 3 years anniversary/friendship today! Yeah.. such loads of memories we've had all these while. =) But we cldnt reali celebrate much coz she was sick. Not wat we both expected in mind, but hey its all still good. Im not complaining! LoL! I'll settle wif juz being wif her anw. So i went to hospital wif the parents to fetch her home, and make her all comfy and such. The least i can do is give her good time even if she juz recovered and cant go out rite... But hells! u all dunt be thinking watever by the statement! hehhe...

So anw today went to have a lil family dinner outside.. Bone Steak man!! hahah... its been like ages we havent had them. ANd today was juz rite; everyone was there, and the ambience was perfect and all were enjoying themselves etc... it goes on. but too bad we cldnt dragged on thruout the nite. besok semue keje beb! =D

to start it all...

for the first time since.. forever.. i been diverting my fullest concern towards others than myself! ok not trying to sound terrible, but i guess its true in my case. I betrayed my own self-absorbent feeling and cared bout other ppl. LOL! And im loving everything bout it....~!

well lets cut to the chase aight.

Caught up wif my 2 all-time fav buddies tis past few days, juz living the old good times! aft for so long, its juz reali damn great to de-stress ourselves again by juz 'chill-out-but-do-nothing'! Hahah...! But heck its wat we do best!

Aft that, of coz i wunt forget family times.. Straight up, TOP PRIORITY! ANd always the best of all the lot wen u juz share all sorts of silly tings that had been goin about.

Well apart from those, i stl have the times wif my 'Ms Sunday'! I guess i dunt have to write further than tat, coz i prefer it to be discreet for now. =)

But im wishing for situations to be much much better.. and hopefully its something happy.

Btw, im praying for u to get well pretty pretty soon k. Dunt want u to miss out on the world!

Hehehkz..~Lastly to you..

Indigo Lima Oscar Victor Echo Yemen Oscar Umpire!

homecoming..

Im finally back home! but fer only a couple of weeks, b4 i have to return to Brunei to finish off my last 3 mths there. But Heck i juz wanna have fun now!

So hey i arrived at the airport ystday approx 1000 hrs and cldnt stop thinking bout wat i wanna do and where i wanna go oreadi.

And yeah, was very excited bout seeing her for the first time aft 6 whole gruelling mths. AND didnt expect to see my adik there wif her too.. Lol! I still love u both though!

Kinda spent the rest of the day wif them, went out to eat and caught a movie too! Things picked up pretty well for me and her btw. Thought it might be awkward, but its actuali not that bad. I missed her damn much man, so shoot me if u must!

Well i was reluctant to end the day early ystday, but i had to. Got a home to come to. I didnt wat else to do wen she reached out her hand to shake mine. But next ting i knew, i hugged her! The exact same way wen i did 6mths ago.

And i kissed her head. It was as though everything was picture perfect all of a sudden!

I might not know wat shes feeling, but i noe wat i am feeling. Such a strong feeling for her. I wanna tell her so, but im juz waiting for the right moment for us!

I tink tis cld be a perfect Home Leave!

so it moves on...

to date...

it comes to tis where i shld juz moved on. tough as it is, it has to be tis way.

she has start off something new, so its fair tat she did wat she needs to do.

im not holding anything back but if tis is the rite choice by letting her go, then so be it.

Truth hurts too deep. God it feels like kryptonite actuali! but wtf rite. I dunt hate her...

I juz dunt wanna see her.

All i noe rite now, im coming back home for 2 weeks for my deserved break.. Juz me by myself.

I tink im ready for it. I guess... Well i'll see u back home!

till today..

Perfection never existed.

Thank you for loving me.

My life ends here.

....

aft wat goes on btwn our convo ystdy, maybe i realise tat watever changes tat has taken place may not be to our likings. But it eventually has to happen bcoz its obviously impossible to stay the same. i changed.. she changed.. and everyone changes their ways without realizing it.

For her: its bcoz im afraid of changes, it wat makes wat i am today.. Paranoia, misery and even depressions twirling inside my brain all at one time! And i noe u had to live on ur life, and adapt to a whole new kind of frens altogether. It juz doesnt make sense why im always the one thinking otherwise.

Yeah, perhaps i reali do need to take one thing at a time. Perhaps im reali too free to conjure on other things except my own well being. Wat im feeling rite now, no one will understand. Not until im ready to spill all the beans and scream my lungs out! Rite now, i juz wanna do wat i do best.

Hibernate.

a late start..

late start to the new year.. nothing to feel excited bout i guess. i mean, tis place is full of shitty workload, and never bout enjoyment. NEVER! Not even on 'OFF' days. All we cld do here is splurge till we dry out, and thats the only form of entertainment. Back home, ppl are enjoying the lifetime. Tsk tsk.. if u ppl back in singapore tink u are going thru hell, then i say screw it! Try being here away from home for 9 fucking mths! Try being in OUR shoes and then complain! Coz damn it i swear u shld start appreciate ur lucky stars ur not in our place..!!

Oh im sorie, was i being too harsh here... Well fuck! i dunt care cos no one does care bout wat do or say anymore anw...!! Im being heartless!?! Damn rite i dunt have one now!